Supporting Male Survivors of sexual abuse
If you're ready to talk, we're ready to listen
MPower is a registered charity - no. 1104195
|It can sometimes
be difficult to talk about rape, sexual assault and childhood abuse. This
website offers information and contact points for agencies which specialise in
Many survivors say that the hardest part of coming to terms with what has happened is to learn to stop blaming themselves.
Nobody deserves to be raped
No survivor deserves the blame
|TALK about your anger
TALK about your feelings
TALK to someone you can trust
Male Rape and Sexual Assault
Within our society, men and boys can suffer appalling sexual assaults and humiliations, but rarely does a victim cry out for help. Such is his feeling of shame, he will often be as desperate to keep it a secret as his attacker is. Confusion, depression and a sense of inescapable isolation are common reactions. They can wreck a man's life. The effects of sexual abuse on men are in many ways similar to those on women, but the response of society is markedly different. Men are seen as strong protectors, capable of defending themselves and those that they care about. When rape occurs feelings of shame, guilt, bewilderment and disbelief often lead to a change of self-esteem. Frequently men feel unable to express their anger and rage at what has happened to them and turn it in on themselves. In a twist that doesn't occur in female rape, sometimes the perpetuator of male rape will arouse his victim sexually, leading him to ejaculation. This is a control move which leaves the victim totally confused as to his role in the rape - did he in fact contribute, by becoming aroused?
It is important to bear in mind that co-operation does not mean consent. Sometimes co-operation with a rapist or abuser is essential to survive the situation. Many men unfortunately find it easier to blame themselves than accept that they were over-powered and raped, in spite of possibly being tricked or manipulated into trusting, or sometimes even feeling an attachment for, their attacker.
It is only by bringing these issues out into the open and discussing them, that we can hope to change society's attitudes so that male rape is seen as the same violent crime as female rape. Rape and Sexual Assault are not about sex or a sexual relationship. They are serious crimes about power, control, humiliation and domination.
Childhood Sexual Abuse
Being both mentally and physically strong is something that society seems to expect of males from a very early age. Some young men will feel that they should be able to physically protect themselves and, when they cannot, they find this hard to accept. Many boys, like all children, find it hard to ask for help when abuse is happening. As they grow up they find it even harder to ask for help. Many boys do not report acts of sexual violence because they see this as a sign of weakness. By accepting that the abuse was not your fault it can only help to shift the feelings of guilt and shame, putting them where they belong, on the perpetrator.
|Please don't suffer in